Stress, vulnerability, and the promise that next year will be awesome

I'm not sure what to say, what explanation is really needed, what judgements and opinions to allow others to have. But I am sure that I'm just doing my best to make it through the day 5 minutes at a time, to tackle work in a limited amount today, to work through my emotions one excruciating conversation at a time, and to get to sleep even though I want the moments of silence and peace to linger and I'm not ready for the new set of problems I may face the next day. What happened? Our business is to the point where we need a full shop and 15 employees and yet Mike and I have been keeping up with it by ourselves. We hired a couple employees thinking it would help but ended up paying them instead of our bills for 2 months. I cope with stress by hiding and eating. Mike copes through excessive social interaction and distraction. So we have been very distant and vulnerable, so even though in most households it really isn't that big of a deal, we were shocked rather harshly into the reality of how far choices, distance, stress had really taken us from each other. Its hard to wrap my head around the gradual decline in our relationship and the aggressive attack life and circumstances we got ourselves into attempted to destroy us. In every way. I'm furious. I'm embarrassed. I'm relieved that during this time I was working on becoming a stronger person myself and surrounding myself with friends and things that make me feel whole. I'm hopeful that this is it. The lines of , if you do this you will lose me, have been drawn far closer. But that it really the deeper relationship we are seeking. To turn to each other and God and to not allow the pressure to build overtake us. To know that we can face anything and we are committed to doing everything to keep this from happening again. So I'm living in the promise of a healthier, stronger relationship, and we are taking baby steps toward it. And we may have some big changes in store for our business as we weigh our options.